By Mohana Konakanchi, author of The Unbiased Garden,

Ever feel like you’re caught on a treadmill?

You scroll through your feed and see the non-stop highlight reel: the big promotion, the perfect launch, the flawless vacation. Our world is obsessed with the result. We’re taught to live our lives by a scoreboard, and it’s exhausting.

We’ve tied our entire sense of self to the scoreboard. If we win, we get a temporary high. If we lose, we feel like a failure.

This is the great illusion that’s making us all so anxious.

The All-or-Nothing Anxiety Trap

When we chain our worth to an outcome, we build a prison for ourselves. It’s a lose-lose situation, and it looks like this:

When you “fail”: The project doesn’t get traction. You don’t get the job. You internalize it. It’s not the idea that failed; it’s “I am a failure.” This is the prison of shame.

When you “succeed”: You get the applause. The launch is a hit. But instead of feeling free, you’re suddenly terrified of losing it. That success is your identity now, and you have to protect it at all costs. This is the prison of anxiety.

Either way, you’re not free. You’re just a puppet waiting for the world to tell you you’re okay.

Your New Job Description: Gardener

What if we’ve been looking at this all wrong? Here’s a truth that can set you free:

Your inherent worth is non-negotiable. It has nothing to do with your results.

Let’s reframe this. Think of yourself as a gardener.

Your job isn’t to guarantee a perfect, prize-winning tomato. Your job is simply to be a good gardener.

That means your power, your responsibility, and your joy lie in the things you can actually control:

Your Intention (The Seed): Choosing to plant something of quality, with care and integrity.

Your Action (The Planting): Having the courage to put the seed in the ground and participate in creation.

Your Nurture (The Tending): The quiet, daily devotion to the process. Showing up to water, weed, and care for what you’ve started.

You Don’t Control the Weather

Here’s the part we always forget: You are not the weather.

You don’t control the market, a sudden frost, a client’s bad mood, or a shift in the algorithm. These are the conditions. They are always changing, always in flux.

The Buddha said, “When conditions exist, things arise.”

That’s it. It’s not a moral judgment. It’s a neutral mechanism. A “failed” harvest isn’t a sign that you’re a “bad” gardener. It’s just feedback. The conditions weren’t right. The soil was too dry. The frost came too early.

The Joy of “Surfing the Flow”

So, what do you do? You Accept and Adapt.

Acceptance is looking at the dry soil and saying, “Huh. The soil is dry.” It’s not looking at the dry soil and saying, “I’m a terrible person who can’t even grow a plant.” You unhook your identity from the outcome.

Adaptation is the fun part. It’s the fluid, joyful pivot. “Okay, the soil is dry… I’ll try a different spot,” or “I’ll wait for the rain,” or “Maybe I’ll plant a cactus instead!”

When you unchain your worth from the harvest, you are finally free to find joy in the gardening. You’re no longer crushed by a “failure” or imprisoned by a “success.”

You are free to just show up, plant your best seed, tend it with care, and joyfully adapt to whatever the weather brings. Your worth was never on the line.

This is the central message of the first chapter explored in my book, The Unbiased Garden: You are Divine, no matter what happens to you. It’s not a one-time fix, but a daily practice of unhooking our identity from the scoreboard and replanting it in the rich soil of the process. When you truly embrace your role—not as the winner or loser, but as the gardener—you’ll find the freedom and joy that no result can ever give you.

About the Author

Mohana Konakanchi is the author of The Unbiased Garden, a non-fiction guide for self-help and spiritual seekers on understanding and flowing with life’s universal laws with ease. You can learn more about the book and Mohana’s work at https://liberationhere.com or https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0FXNFJSCD