Bridging Conflict and the Chasm Between Us
By Cynthia Rivard
If you look at the world stage, it often appears to be one big divisive chasm of conflict; and if you are tasked with leading in any capacity, this has probably come up for you on the micro level as well. In this article, I will explain why this chasm is so prevalent, and then supply you with a step by step guide to break down those walls of division, and create the consensus we all need for true progress.
We are all products of our programing, perspectives and paradigms. These are the three P’s that will impact our progress, and the most insidious in blocking progress are our programs.
When I talk about programs in the context of people, I’m referring to how our brains have been wired to adapt our beliefs and behaviors. The most common programs that we all share are those that are instinctual programs intended for our survival. I say “were” because at this point of our evolution many of these instincts are no longer helpful and actually heighten the challenge of living our most fulfilled lives.
Survival Instincts that No Longer Serve Us
We have many instinctual programs. These are the automatic reactions of the human mind that have been with us since the beginning of our evolution and were intended to keep us safe from physical dangers and ensure the survival of our species. There is one that is most relevant to what is going on in our world at the moment, however.
Humans crave sameness and routine – One of our primary instincts is to seek what we know and hang onto it (as if our lives depend on it). This instinct applies in the case of circumstances, people or ideas and is intended to keep us safe because in our caveman days, new or different was often synonymous with danger.
You can see examples of this everywhere. Someone who hesitates to go after a new job or change a relationship even though they are miserable in their current circumstance is an example. Their subconscious will find reasons to justify their hesitation or supply resistance to making a move. Another example would be someone fighting for their current beliefs. They will refuse to listen to alternate ideas, beliefs or perspectives and fight to convince those holding opposing views that they are wrong. The alternative would mandate allowing for a new belief or perspective and the subconscious resists change.
When you observe someone fighting for their viewpoint or resisting acknowledging the validity of another person’s perspective, they are not as clueless or stubborn as you may suspect. You are witnessing their instinctual programming and their need to hang on to the beliefs they currently hold. We are witnessing this behavior around the globe; but of course, this program is no longer helpful so let’s talk about how to move past it.
Your need to be right – Recognizing this instinct in yourself is a first step to building awareness and progress in consensus building. No one perspective is typically 100% “right”. By definition, a perspective is just a viewpoint rather than a fact and there are many other perspectives that can and should be considered most of the time.
Understanding that it is differing perspectives that lead to innovation and forward progress is a first step to enabling progress. When you embrace this understanding and welcome differing perspectives, you are ready to lead the conversation.
Bridging conflict amongst groups – Ostensibly, the more obvious challenge is opening others up to this idea.
- Start by meeting them where they are. Ask lots of questions and be curious to understand their perspective on everything. This will assist in reducing resistance to engaging in a conversation because everyone wants to know they are being heard. No one wants to think their opinions and input don’t matter. This assists with rapport building and diffusing resistance to working with the opposition.
- Agree on an end goal but don’t attach to a predetermined path to get there. Those with differing viewpoints will want to be a part of creating the solution or path forward. Be open to their involvement and all possible ideas that they may put forward.
- Remember that understanding and having compassion for other people’s viewpoints does not mean agreeing with them, but it may. When you fully understand the other side, allow for the possibility of changing your mind – in whole or in part. Leaders have to be malleable and unattached to ego and who came up with the best idea. Typically the best ideas are a synthesis of many. Be flexible and open to considering everything and thinking outside of the box.
- Continue to listen, ask questions and look for opportunities to build bridges of understanding amongst the group. The more conflict and contention that exists, the more important it will be for everyone to understand and trust each other before significant progress can be made together. Take the time to create understanding first and it will be well worth your investment in time and effort.
Your contribution to any team is the linchpin of your success in both business, community activities and life. No one lives or works in a bubble and when you need to work in collaboration with others, which is often, there will most likely be dissenting points of view.
Learn to value opposing viewpoints. It is the only way minds are opened to different perspectives and progress can be made.
Author Bio:
Cynthia Rivard is a spiritual teacher, business strategist, and environmental advocate. Through a meteoric upleveling of channeling skills, Cynthia has become a crystal clear seer for awakening humanity to the next chapter of its evolution. For more information about Cynthia and her upcoming book “Hope for a New Era,” please visit https://www.cynthiarivard.com/ .
