Excerpt from Love Does Not Know Death
By Adam Rizvi M.D
OUT NOW.
Death isn’t an end. It is a continuation. The fear we carry around about our own death is based on a misunderstanding so profound it colors all aspects of life. And facing that fear is actually the key to experiencing true life. As a critical care physician, I’ve had the privilege and blessing to be at the deathbed of hundreds of people. I have witnessed the many sacred and often striking ways people die. In our nation’s sterile intensive care units (ICUs), I’ve seen many die in terror and pain. On the other hand, I’ve seen others welcome death with serene foreheads and gentle smiles.
What empowers some and not others to embrace the great mystery we call death with such grace? These experiences and questions have been part of an ongoing journey. It began, for me, with existential doubt as a young adult. Later, it led to a deep conviction of the continuity of life. Now, I’ve seen enough to know unquestionably that death is simply a layover on a vast journey of awakening.
About a month before writing this, I spent time with a patient for a few days before his death. His name was Joshua. He was in his sixties, and he had Stage 4 lung cancer, which had metastasized throughout his body.
A brief note: The near-death patients I’m with in the hospital are often on life support. They may have massive brain bleeds, large strokes, or are unconscious for some medical reason. So when I’m with someone I know is dying, but is also conscious and can talk, I see it as a rare chance to connect deeply. To have a moment of lucidity and to be awake, aware, and communicative before death is a tremendous gift. It is a gift for the dying person and for the others in the room. In these situations, each person has time to prepare emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually.
Joshua was one such patient. He had days left to live and was wide awake and fully aware of it. In addition to his metastasized cancer, he had kidney failure. When your kidneys fail and dialysis is not in use, your potassium rises. This disrupts the heart’s electrical system, causing it to stop. Joshua decided not to undergo dialysis. He knew he was dying and decided to go on his terms, calmly and courageously.
I remember the conversation. I was in his ICU room with the curtains drawn. His wife, Rosie, was sitting to my right. Joshua was in the hospital bed to my left. I was explaining the intricacies of potassium and telling him what he should expect in the coming days. Him and his wife were nodding thoughtfully and deeply engaged in the conversation. Interestingly, this conversation stood out from the many others I’ve had. Instead of the usual dread, I felt a lightness in the air while we spoke. It sounds strange, but in that room, I saw a man at peace with himself and the world. It made me smile in respect and gratitude. He knew he was dying, his wife knew he was dying, and they were both facing it with grace.
Seeing that made my heart swell. To witness such compassionate courage is touching and inspiring. I watched them both openly talk about the fact that he was going to die in a few days. They talked about their kids. They wanted to ensure their son was okay and their daughter did her homework. Rosie asked him what he wanted for their children’s future. He, in turn, asked about her wishes and vision.
I watched this back and forth, thinking: This is amazing. I love this. While holding his hand, Rosie leaned forward and said, “I’m gonna miss you so much,” and Joshua started crying.
In that moment, my heart blew wide open. I clearly remember thinking, Let’s face death courageously like these two, let’s face death as the gift that it is.
When you rise above the belief that you are frail and breakable, you see yourself as so much more. You recognize that you are that which is eternal. You taste the peace of knowing that nothing can harm you. Nothing can destroy your nature because your nature is Love.
These moments I witness in the ICU, during the transition from one “life” to another, are so precious. Being present with your emotions and feelings during these moments helps you beautifully honor yourself and everyone in the room.
To his credit, Joshua looked at me and said, “Doc, I’m pretty afraid.”
I replied, “Yeah, I would be too in your place. It’s a big unknown.”
His one-word response, though simple, belied a depth of consideration and thought. “Yeah.” After a moment, seemingly glimpsing the other side, he asked, “How many times have you had this conversation?”
“I don’t know. Quite a few over the years. They’re always different.”
He joked, “You’d make a good priest.” I took the compliment as I think he intended it.
Doctors help people who are at their most vulnerable, like priests, rabbis, and imams. We deal with the hard stuff of life. This moment with Joshua and his wife stuck out. It was rare because they honorably faced death. A beautiful exchange had occurred. I saw it and was a part of it.
What if you could face death with such courage, vulnerability, and authenticity? What if you knew the other side wasn’t total oblivion but a continuation? What if a larger spiritual context existed — something that would give meaning to the final moment of your so-called life here on earth? What if you used the fears around death for truly meaningful spiritual growth?
These questions arise daily as I face one death at a time in the hospital. As a society, how would we approach death differently with this shift in perspective? How would we prepare?
My own spiritual journey and these questions led me to reconsider how I related to death, dying, and terminal illness. I wanted to know how to prepare for death. I wanted to know how best to show up for people who are transitioning around me. I intuitively knew there must be a powerful way to sit with the dying that not only helps them in the moments leading up to their death but also the moments right after. Life goes on. I had had my own experiences suggesting as much.
And yet, I was only just beginning to explore how to help those making their transition. I felt that all of us could help each other no matter which side of the veil we were on. We needed to understand the bigger context within which death plays its role.
I then asked myself: What if my patients were open to hearing this deeper aspect of dying? What if they were open to understanding this bigger spiritual context? The question that kept coming up for me was: What would I say to my patients about death if they were open to listening? What would I say to my friends and family about how I was applying my own spiritual learning to the great unknown we call death? And what could I do right now to best prepare for my own death?
Love Does Not Know Death arose as an answer to these questions. It is inspired by all my teachers, my friends, and by the grace of the spirit within all that goes by many names.
Love Does Not Know Death is not about transforming grief, though it may happen. It is not about overcoming the pain of loss, although that can occur. It’s not just about a flawed medical system or fear of death and disease, though that becomes evident. This book is about awakening. It is about using death, disease, change, and loss as a catalyst to play the game of awakening to your true nature.
Finally, this is a book about love. More specifically, it is about undoing your blocks to the awareness of love, your true nature. It is a book for you — patients and their families, doctors, and nurses. It is for anyone curious about death with the courage to face it. It is for those who intuitively sense a bigger spiritual context for this whole thing called life. It’s for anyone who has felt the anguish of loss or the shock of a terminal illness diagnosis. It is for anyone who has felt the intensity of life’s suffering and felt there must be another way, a way to an inner peace that never fades.
Take a moment and consider these questions: How do you feel when you think about death? What have you been taught about death? Do you believe that you are just your body? What if death is not an end but a transition? What if life is a journey of awakening, and so-called “death” is a part of that process? What if you didn’t need to suffer but could truly rest in peace, living life fully and joyfully?
I will share stories of the many deaths I’ve witnessed and the lessons I’ve learned from them. I will provide a simple guide on how to face death from a broader spiritual point of view, and I will share tools and insights I’ve gained that can be used in your daily life. I invite you to take what feels right to you and only use what you find most helpful.
The journey I have been on at home and in the nation’s ICUs has absolutely transformed how I see the world. It took me from darkness to light. The lessons I learned helped me transition from fear to love and a deep, abiding peace. This book offers an invitation to join me on this journey where death is not viewed as an enemy to fear but as a part of a classroom — a classroom with lessons that can deepen your understanding of who you are. It is possible to choose to see life’s huge changes, like death, as paths to spiritual awakening and peace.
Settling into and feeling this unshakable inner peace is what this book is all about. Are you ready to see death and, thus, life in a radically new way? Are you ready to sense this unshakable peace? All it takes is a little willingness. And there is no better time to start than now.
***
Love Does Not Know Death is a powerful exploration of mortality drawn from the lived experience of an intensive care physician. Blending the stories of patients and families with spiritual insights from A Course in Miracles, this book faces the fears of death and illness while showing how forgiveness transforms grief and anxiety into peace. Death is not the end but an invitation to awakening, a chance to release the illusion of separation and rediscover the permanence of love.
With clarity and compassion, Dr. Rizvi guides readers through the illusions of suffering and fear, offering practical exercises in forgiveness alongside deep metaphysical insight. Written for those facing illness, caregivers, spiritual seekers, and anyone grieving a loved one, it offers not just comfort but a path to inner freedom. Love Does Not Know Death is a roadmap for turning life’s hardest moments into portals of healing, awakening, and love’s enduring truth.
Love Does Not Know Death: Stories of Death, Dying, and the Miracles of True Forgiveness by Adam Rizvi M.D is available from wherever books are sold.
BOOK LINK: https://amzn.to/3JFNLIU
