Why America Needs More Lovers and Fewer Roommates
By Guy Blaise
In France, we have a saying: “On ne vit qu’une fois” — you only live once. But we also live with the belief that love, like fine wine, is meant to be savored, nurtured, and shared deeply.
When I moved to America, I noticed something surprising. Couples who once promised to be each other’s greatest adventure had quietly become… roommates — or worse, they lived like brother and sister. Oh la la! They shared bills, chores, maybe a Netflix password — but not passion. The connection that once felt electric now felt like a polite handshake.
The problem isn’t that Americans don’t want intimacy — it’s that somewhere along the way, they’ve replaced romance with routine. And routine is the enemy of desire.
From Lovers to Logistics Managers
In too many American households, conversations revolve around grocery lists, kids’ schedules, and what time the dog needs walking. The bedroom becomes a storage space for laundry rather than a sanctuary for love.
In France, we protect the sacredness of intimacy. We understand that the health of a relationship is not measured by how efficiently the bills are paid, but by how alive two people feel when they are together. We flirt — even in long-term relationships. We kiss like it still matters. We touch without agenda.
Desire is Not a Luxury — It’s a Lifeline
Some might think of passion as something frivolous or impractical — a nice bonus if you have the time. But I believe it’s the glue that holds a marriage together. Without desire, resentment creeps in. Without romance, communication becomes transactional.
Making love isn’t just about physical pleasure. It’s about being truly seen and felt. It’s about saying, without words, “You still matter to me.”
Three French Secrets to Rekindling Lover Energy
- Flirt shamelessly with your partner.
Send a playful text. Whisper something suggestive over dinner. Let them know you still see them as a lover, not just a co-parent or co-tenant. - Protect time for intimacy like it’s a meeting with your boss.
In France, we don’t cancel a romantic dinner for another errand. We cancel the errand. - Bring mystery back into the relationship.
Surprise your partner. Wear something they’ve never seen you in. Plan an evening without telling them what’s coming. Desire thrives in the unknown.
From Roommates Back to Lovers
If your marriage feels more like a business partnership than a romance, it’s not too late. Start small. Smile differently. Linger when you hug. Ask each other questions you haven’t asked in years.
Your partner didn’t fall in love with a roommate. They fell in love with someone who made them feel alive.
And the truth is, America doesn’t need more couples who simply co-exist under one roof. It needs more couples who look at each other across the dinner table and feel that spark — even after decades together.
Author Bio:
Guy Blaise is the French author of Make America Mate Again, a bold and heartfelt exploration of love, intimacy, and emotional connection in modern American marriages. Learn more and preorder the book at https://howtolovelikethefrench.com/mama.
