Why does imitation prove our admiration and love?
A personal example: As an 18-year-old studying at a small liberal arts college, we called our professors tutors since there were only fifteen students in each class. I admired all my tutors, but especially one who seemed the most brilliant and holy. He had a quirk that my classmates and I unconsciously imitated: putting a finger to our mouths before speaking. When I came home, my family noticed something subtly different about me. After entering the IHMs, and even until my final vows, Sisters would tease me about this habit!
Why did I imitate him? I admired his prayerful presence after Mass, his genuine interest in us, and his thoughtful, articulate speech. From this and many similar examples, we see that imitation often arises from admiration and time spent in another’s presence. We imitate those we are close to and whose virtues inspire us.
In regard to Our Lady, St. Louis de Montfort tells us that the essential practice of devotion is to perform all our actions with Mary. This means taking her as our model and companion in all that we do.
Being with Mary
One powerful way to imitate Mary is simply by being with her. But how can we “be” with someone we cannot physically see? Here are four simple and concrete ways to foster this spiritual closeness:
1. Begin and end the day with her. In the morning, greet her with a simple offering: “Mary, I give you all that I am, choose, and desire today. Help me.” Then, include the Morning Offering, dedicating your day to God through her Immaculate Heart. At night, offer your sleep to her and ask for her protection through the night.
2. Pray the Rosary. The Rosary remains one of the most powerful ways to be with Mary. I know people who pray all four sets of mysteries daily. Mary has brought them peace, conversions of loved ones, and an awareness of her loving presence.
3. Be affectionate with Mary. A woman I know rises in the night to visit with Mary, calling her “Mom.” Others speak to her as “Mama Mary.” Why not? These individuals cultivate an awareness of her nearness and relate to her with warmth and love.
4. Listen to her. In silence, ask: “Mary, what would you have me think, say, or do?” Make space for her guidance.
As we spend time with Mary, we begin to reflect her. The more we are with someone, the more we become like them.
A Virtue to Imitate: Amiability
St. Louis de Montfort encourages us to imitate Mary’s virtues. One that often goes unnoticed—but deeply shapes how others experience us—is her amiability. The Litany of Loreto calls her “Mother Most Amiable.”
But what does that mean? “Amiability” comes from the Latin amare, meaning “to love.” It refers to someone who is lovable and loving—marked by friendliness, gentleness, and warmth. St. John Henry Newman describes Mary’s amiability this way:
“It was her beautiful sinless soul, which looked through her eyes, spoke through her mouth, heard in her voice, and compassed her all about; when she was still or when she walked, whether she smiled or was sad, her sinless soul—this it was which would draw all those to her.”
We are drawn to Mary because she is truly loving and lovely. But how often do we stop to ask whether we reflect that same quality?
Preparing for Part II
In the next reflection, we’ll explore what amiability looks like in everyday life—how Mary lived it, why it matters, and how we can begin to practice it ourselves, even when it’s difficult.
To begin, ask yourself: Is there something in me that draws people closer—or pushes them away?
As we stay close to Mary, we will become more like her. Mother Most Amiable, pray for us.
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