We all have the gift of hindsight that we can use to navigate the road ahead, which leads to the question: What do we wish we knew as children that we know now that could have helped us then? More than anything, I wish I knew then that fear is a choice and that we can shift our thoughts and actions from negative to positive. This concept can be difficult even for an adult to grasp. Still, the possibility and power are always there, and the younger we learn how to do it, the sooner we can direct the trajectory of our lives toward a destiny of happiness and fulfillment.
When I was a kid, the adults around me were untrustworthy, to put it kindly, and my fear abounded. Fear of where I would live each day. Fear of going to bed hungry. Fear of being alone. Fear of having nobody to turn to if I needed help with anything. Fear of just being with my parents.
When I was six years old, I was living with both my parents in Southern California. My dad was using drugs and often abused my mom, which I witnessed. My mom used drugs and alcohol as well, and she also had a boyfriend on the side. I feel she became involved with this other man because of her addictions and a deep-seated need to be taken care of. After a while, my mom wanted out of the toxic relationship with my dad, so one day she ran away when Dad wasn’t home and took me with her. We spent that first night in an abandoned school bus in a ditch lit by lanterns. There were eight other people there using heroin and performing sex acts on one another. I pushed my way to a seat in the back, covered my ears, and closed my eyes to escape this horrible scene. Mom kissed me on the forehead and told me she loved me, and then she joined her friends.
In retrospect, as awful as that experience was, it was probably one of the first times that I learned how to deal with fear, at least to the extent that a six-year-old can in that kind of situation. Closing my eyes and ears to the earthly world gave me some internal comfort because I could use my mind to shield myself from the pain around me. This miraculous experience was the first time I saw the healing white light, which profoundly changed me. While I was in the physical presence of monstrous acts being committed, I was shielded from them by shutting out the outside world and going within. As I grew up and reflected on that night in the bus, I realized it was in that difficult moment when I first surrendered to something greater than me. That’s why I saw the white light — my higher power. I have since embraced my connection to the spirit world by continuously seeking this white light of protection, which is now one of my daily practices.
Closing my eyes and ears and going within myself allows me to redirect my thoughts. I first focus on my breath, which brings a sense of calm and renews my life source. As I focus on my breath and keep that continuous motion flowing, I have the power to access a part of me, an “added space” within, that allows me to choose where I want to direct my energy. I believe in the philosophy that we all have free will and can pick the path we take, but often we feel like we have no choices and are prisoners in our minds. It’s truly magical what can happen, though, when we pause, focus on our breath, and enter that other world. This meditative state, known in Eastern religions as Nirvana, is the bridge between our physical world and the realm of Spirit.
Later, my paternal grandmother provided me with the religious foundation that contributed to my epiphany about what I had experienced on the bus, and for that, I am eternally grateful. When I was nine, my mom was in no condition to take care of me anymore, and so I returned to California to live with my grandma and my dad. Grandma was heavy into the Bible. I went to church with her occasionally and watched biblical cartoons on television. Today, our belief systems travel along different paths, but there are many commonalities — namely, our faith in someone or something greater than ourselves and the importance of surrendering to that higher power. Having that belief system instilled in me gave me an inner peace as a child that said, “Billy, you’re going to be okay.” I didn’t necessarily know how or why; I just knew that I was protected. Today, I know that protection comes from Spirit, which I can access and feel anytime I use my spiritual tools, such as meditation and intention-setting.
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Psychic Medium Bill Philipps is the author of Expect the Unexpected, Signs from the Other Side, and most recently Soul Searching: Tune In to Spirit and Awaken Your Inner Wisdom. His life’s mission is to help people deal with the grief of losing loved ones by bringing through validations, evidential information, and beautiful messages from Spirit, which heal and bring a sense of peace. Visit him online at http://www.billphilipps.com.
Excerpted from the book Soul Searching: Tune In to Spirit and Awaken Your Inner Wisdom ©2023 by Bill Philipps. Printed with permission from New World Library — www.newworldlibrary.com.